Thursday, March 20, 2014

Young Rich Angry Woman: Capturing Moments of Separation-Preventing Suicide-Happiness-Remarriage: Couple Relations & Gender Diversity in Bedroom

Caution: This has a happy ending, kindly read complete blog before forming opinion. Important lesson for women is highlighted
4 Years ago, I received a distress call from Kavita, A Young Rich Angry Woman(name changed to protect identity). Daughter of a top professional, among-st top 3 building/construction company at NCR, India

  • I don't want to live
  • we have never met, never spoken, however can you please help me to die
  • My life is finished, I have lost my job
  • I have decided to divorce my husband, court will formally separate us in few months
  • I don't know, what to do. I have lost desire to live
  • I have lost 10 kg weight, I don't feel like meeting anyone
  • I had a miscarriage year ago, I don't know where I go
Now, I am in catch 22 situation, what do I do, I don't know this woman, never met her. Should I refer her to psychologist or ask my wife to speak wit her. I am no way qualified or trained to handle this. However I decided to engage her in dialogue

  • I requested her to describe her family
  • All about her job, what all she does at her job
  • She was doing her best to convince & build bond with me, Although I was feeling guilty, I said you are wonderful & unique creation of God, I think perhaps we know each other
  • We used to talk on telephone every saturday for 1 Hour for few months
  • I polished her resume & help her get placed as senior trainer with start up at location near her home
  • After she stablised over 2 years, I requested her to describe, what is that, she likes & does not like about her ex-husband.... 
  1. She liked, her husband for his caring attitude. He doesn't drink much.
  2. He does not listen to me when he comes home from office
  3. He cannot decide what to eat, his sister requests boiled food to be cooked. He is suffering from piles. His sister is always interfering & advising what to cook
  4. He is not a homo or in bad habits, he doesn't have any girl friends
  5. I do not suspect, he having another affair
  6. He cannot satisfy me, I am  a young woman & have basic desire
  7. I wear most expensive red lingerie & nothing happens to him, he doesn't get excited
  8. I have complained about this to his mother, he is not a man, I call him a "Chakka", slang/abusive word for man not able to ..............
  9. I have tried to sort out this & suggested, we can also adopt a child.
Now, I decided to gently scold her, how can you behave like this, your husband is your & you need to take ownership for better relations with him.
  • Do you know root cause of piles is stress & too spicy (red chilly) food.
  • Have you tried to talk to your husband as a friend
She again started to cry & apologized for not having treated her ex-husband properly.
Now after 4 yrs, she is down to earth, ego is gone, she got re-married 4 month ago & happy with her life & moving to US. Our blessings for happy marital life & safe motherhood

God Bless her with all the happiness
Lessons
  • Why can't women appreciate & understand, their natural behaviour unknowingly increase stress in men? They are trying to help, however the result is contrary.
  • Why can't they let their man be in his cave, when he is too tired?
  • Why they want their man to become & act like a woman?
  • Why don't they understand, they will also become mother-in-law one day?
  • Why can't they read books & encourage their husband to read books by Dr. John Gray, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Mars & Venus in bedroom, Why Mars & Venus Collide?