Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Give feminism a chance: I am pained about what has happened in our neighborhood. Islam accords special status to women


I am pained about what has happened in our neighborhood, Unimaginable, a very sad day. Islam accords special status to women & also clearly says, blessed are the one & shall go to heaven, who nurtures girl child..... Give feminism a chance, We got to nurture new generation..... I am pained & crying

The smallest coffins are the heaviest.....and the heaviness will last a lifetime.... My Silent prayer to all, Humanity exists, got to nurture & flourish it.

Monday, December 15, 2014

True Incident:Young Rich Angry Woman: Capturing Moments of Separation-Depression-Happiness-Remarriage


This true story has a meaningful Happy ending, kindly read complete article before forming opinion


4 Year ago, I received a distress call from Kavita, A Young Rich Angry Woman (name changed to protect identity). She is daughter of top professional; Vice President of top 3 infrastructure management company at Gurgaon, India. I have never ever seen or met this woman, only saw her photo on FB.


One fine day, I received call at 6 PM, the woman claims to know me well, the conversation started as;
  1. I don't want to live
  2. We have never met, never spoken, however can you please help me to die
  3. My life is finished, I have lost my job
  4. I have decided to divorce my husband, court will formally separate us in few months
  5. I don't know, what to do. I have lost desire to live
  6. I have lost 10 kg weight, I don't feel like meeting anyone
  7. I had a miscarriage year ago, I don't know where do I go
Now, I am in a challenging situation, what do I do, I don't know this woman, never met her. Should I refer her to psychologist or ask my wife to speak with her. I am no way qualified or trained to handle this situation. However I decided to engage her in dialogue, wise sense prevailed, I only listened;
  • I requested her to describe her family
  • All about her job, what all she does at her job
  • She was doing her best to convince & build bond with me, Although I was feeling guilty, I said you are wonderful & unique creation of God, I think perhaps we know each other
  • We used to talk on telephone every saturday for 1 Hour for few months
  • I polished her resume & help her get placed as senior trainer with start up at location near her home
  • After she stabilized over 2 years, I requested her to describe, what is that, she likes & does not like about her ex-husband.... 
  1. She liked, her husband for his caring attitude. He doesn't drink much.
  2. He does not listen to me when he comes home from office
  3. He cannot decide what to eat, his sister requests boiled food to be cooked. He is suffering from piles. His sister is always interfering & advising what to cook
  4. He is not a homosexual or in bad habits, he doesn't have any girl friends
  5. I do not suspect, he having another affair
  6. He cannot satisfy me, I am  a young woman & have basic desire
  7. I wear most expensive red & colorful lingerie & nothing happens to him, he doesn't get excited, I have natural desire as that of a woman
  8. I have complained about this to his mother, he is not a man, I call him a "Chakka", slang/abusive word for man not able to satisfy a woman
  9. I have tried to sort out this & suggested, we can also adopt a child.
Now, I decided to gently scold her, how can you behave like this, your husband is yours & you need to take ownership for better relations with him.
  • Do you know root cause of piles is stress & spicy (red chilly) food.
  • Have you tried to talk to your husband as a friend
She again started to cry & apologized for not having treated her ex-husband properly.

Now after 4 yrs hence, she is down to earth, ego is gone, she got re-married 8 month ago & happy with her new life & moving to US. Our blessings for happy marital life & safe motherhood. She has send me her Happy photos, enjoying with her husband & family friends

God Bless her with all the happiness & safe motherhood

Lessons (from man's view point)
  • Why can't women appreciate & understand, their natural behavior unknowingly increase stress in men? They are trying to help, however the result is contrary.
  • Why can't they let their man be in his cave, when he is too tired?
  • Why they want their man to become & act like a woman?
  • Why don't they understand, they will also become mother-in-law one day?
  • Why can't they read books & encourage their husband to read books by Dr. John Gray, 1) Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. 2)  Mars & Venus in bedroom. 3) Why Mars & Venus Collide?
I am not trying to say only woman got to change, it is responsibility, equally of men as well to keep the relationship flying high, understand feminism. Why woman act that way.What they want in relations. Love making is an art, slowly & slowly rekindle the passion in your life.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Amazing & True, Listening & trusting women, helped us save millions, min-15% in every deal in male dominated function (India)

These are amazing & true facts, how including, listening & trusting women in male dominated function in India, has helped organisations save min 15% & upto 20% in deals, these functions are still, exclusive male dominated in India. I am talking about; A) property rental leasing negotiations for commercial & residential. In next blog about B) automobile sales & service adviser

Kindly read complete, before you form opinion, The point I am trying to convey is, perhaps it may seem initially strange, the way my women colleagues approached this; however they gracefully made their impression & helped us save millions.

The first incident in opportunity to involve women from marketing & architecture (store design) department in initial survey and shortlisting of commercial estate for our stores. We used to take them for surroundings survey, property potential assessment, future footfall, negotiations with owners & draft of final legal-lease agreement.

The questions as asked by them were too difficult to be answered by property owners, few were rather embarrassed about not able to answer. We decided to listen & learn, why women are asking these questions. We supported them, re-phrased the questions for property owners & were able to get satisfactory answers. 

Involving women had all long term benefits;

  1. Negotiate better & close deals at 15% lower than prevailing rate
  2. Fine tune proposed lease agreement, to save on unexpected maintenance cost
  3. Analyse better, plans of other builders in the vicinity, this will impact future foot-fall
  4. Build rapport with owner, assure him of long term commitment
  5. Residential lease for employees & guest house, we saved minimum 20% & had better park/green facing properties. Employees & their families Happiness cannot be measured financially.
Challenges, we initially faced & my learning;
  1. Excessive delay in acquisition, in my opinion initial target setting should have been revised. Women thoughts & evaluating parameters are different, they are cautious long term decision makers.
  2. There was lot of resistance, because we felt, we would be exposing women to inappropriate environment, language used in this profession is ???????.
  3. Alas the project of involving women was shelved & company relied on hard ball; men to men negotiating techniques. I was pained, Did I fail ?. 
  4. After more than a decade, I realized, the properties in which we involved women are still retained & earning the company good ROI. Owners are also happy. At least, I did my best to sensitize. I failed to bring about cultural change & my intentions were genuine
  5. Now, 12 years hence, I am in better position to help men & women work together to co create prosperity for themselves & their employers.
  6. I wish, I had conducted, how women & men communicate 12 years ago, the way I conduct them today. Perhaps, I was too junior in the hierarchy 12 years ago in the corporate world.
Personally I saved 40% in residential lease agreement, when I met all elderly women sitting in park, after office hours. I leisurely listened to & talked to them. They were amazing, few meetings & references/connections at my end, helped me to get best, park facing residence. I stayed there for 18 Month.

After my family left the city, the lease was not renewed because one learned administration person wanted to renegotiate the deal & the owner said thanks, good bye !!  



Saturday, December 13, 2014

Do you think, there should be dress code for women as well in school/college teaching profession ?

Uniformity in Uniform

Kind acknowledgement to source: Original article by Brig Sushil Bhasin, http://www.brigsushilbhasin.co.in/2014/07/uniformity-in-uniform.html


As the Chairman of a school I once made a suggestion that all teachers should be in uniform . The reactions from the Principal and teachers gave me a feeling that I had made a blunder. 

Ridiculous ! How could I even think of such a weird idea? “We are not air hostesses!” “We have passed the school stage” and so on. I went on to acquire feedback from many other schools and found there was no such custom in any other school. I dropped the idea and forgot about it. It was not a workable idea and had zero acceptability.


This incident of 2002 flashed back in my mind when a few days ago I conducted a workshop in Gurukul International School, Solan. I was delighted to see all the teachers in a smart and simple uniform. They all looked so beautiful. The entire class looked so nice. My idea was not so stupid!! What was considered stupid and not workable in 2002 turned out to be smart and workable in 2014.

I was tempted to get their responses. Were they forced by the management?. 
Were they uncomfortable or felt bad in wearing the uniform? 
To my utter surprise I could not find anyone unhappy about it. Even if a new teacher found it uncomfortable in the beginning, she got used to it. The answers I got from lady teachers, who are in a vast majority, were something like this:

  1. It is a blessing.  We don’t get into the rat race and compete with other teachers on the subject  of wardrobe. We don’t compare sarees and jewelry and that cuts out unnecessary jealousies and competition and even staff room gossip.
  2. We are happy with this simple dress and we send out a message of simple living to the students.
  3. We don’t waste time in deciding what to wear. No decision making. Just one option. Get into the uniform and go.
  4. We save money. Teachers in other schools spend much more on their wardrobe.
  5. It brings in unity and uniformity, and we like it.
  6. Visitors, parents, vendors etc who visit our school like the idea and praise it.
  7. On Saturdays we wear casuals, so that gives us an opportunity to wear different clothes, too.
  8. On functions we are to wear formals where we wear sarees. So, we do have variety too, though limited.·  
The gentlemen had little to say. They are just a handful. They were also happy with the idea but not with the uniform. They found the ladies uniform smarter and more impressive.

It will be nice to have some views on this subject.

Kind acknowledgement to source: Original article by Brig Sushil Bhasin, http://www.brigsushilbhasin.co.in/2014/07/uniformity-in-uniform.html

Thursday, December 11, 2014

True Incident: Same words, first woman Hugs me tight, give 70 Kiss on my cheeks (& heart-unbutton my shirt); another one says you men are insensitive, I am confused !!

Kindly reflect deeply on the message, I am trying to convey!!

True Incident: Same words; first woman Hugs me tight, give 70 Kiss on my cheeks (& heart-unbutton my shirt); another one says you men are insensitive; I am confused !!

The words were my question; "Which is the smallest, most decorative & beautiful place"

The first woman answered as, "Rangoli" (delicate floral decorative pattern usually made by woman on floor). Indian Woman usually do this on Deepawali & on special celebration/festive occasions. By the way can you guess, who the first woman is?

The second woman answered, "woman's dress".

My response was same to both, "incorrect, try again". After few (5) attempts, both got irritated & called me boring.

I gave the answer, "its your face"

The first woman, gave me 30 Kisses on my both cheeks, 20 in my shirt pocket, she unbuttoned my shirt & gave 20 kisses on my heart, I cried, Who is she ?..... my 8 year old daughter.

The another woman my "spouse, my life time partner" called me insensitive & told me to behave, She also said you are uncaring & have pathetic sense of humor, poor jokes, I am confused, what wrong did I do, where is my fault ?


O God Bless me !! I am a normal man, simple & clean heart boy !! I need love & affection as well !!


O Dear serious woman, rekindle the passion & fun in your life !!
Do you think for marital bliss, men & women, got to accept each other the way they are ?
My confessions about my loves,
A) Walt Disney creations
B) Cadbury chocolates
C) Charlie Chaplin
D) Hills, Snow
E) Pan Pipes & Soft Jazz
F) Paintings


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

True incident at India: Are Women correct in indulging in; only company & men bashing in their exclusive meetings ? (Man's viewpoint)


Kindly read carefully, reflect & then form opinion.

This is true incident, I am proud to be part of team which values Gender Diversity & practices Gender Inclusion.

Scenario: All women, during lunch meeting on friday. They are only complaining about company policies, systems, people, their husband, mother-in-law & ultimately they find scapegoat to all their problems, Air Conditioner operator, poor lowly paid technician.

If AC is too cool, they have pain in neck (perhaps senior women are more prone to cervical back pain*. forgive me, I may not be correct, I am not a doctor). If AC is having less cooling; admin & finance are to blame, they are on cost cutting mode.

One young woman management trainee, suggests to senior women, they can always wrap shawl/scarf on their neck to mitigate the cooling effect. Now she is the scapegoat & culprit, she is accused of supporting the poor AC technician & few women make fun of her & say technician is indeed handsome man, eligible bachelor. She is upset & requests them to discuss solutions as to what they want. She excuses herself to rest room & not to return to hear these talks.

Just because, AC technician is a poor & lowly paid guy, what right you had to complain about him to management. If AC technician was a woman, would you have still blamed her. Just tell him, you have a problem, you want either less/high temperature. I am offended & upset about few senior women finding scapegoat in men, as cause of their challenges in their professional & personal life. Just speak what solution you expect, for God's sake please love yourself & stop bashing men !!

O Dear Woman !! You can sometimes be your worst enemy !

True incident: How CEO handles delicate issue, Coloured Woman getting highest yearly increment & Discomfort of few (JeRk AsS) men


This is true incident & my first learning how CEO's handle delicate issues & perhaps my first gender inclusion learning. 

Kindly read complete article, reflect deeply, before you jump to conclusion.

Incident date: December 1996, my first job as car sales professional. Names are actual.
Woman colleague (Mrs A Jose in her late 40's) at back-end operations (she gives crucial support to front line team) is given 20% out of turn increment in December. In India it is norm to give increment in May/June only, 10% is highest in automobile. (FY runs from Apr- Mar)

Few men in sales team are uncomfortable about out of turn increment to a woman, the discomfort is clearly visible, they avoid this woman, strange body language & hinting at CEO having inappropriate relations with woman & playing favorites.

Myself, my colleague(Rohit Rajput) & woman team member (Ms Puneeta Chaturvedi) are uncomfortable about the entire episode & strange behaviour of our team members. We tried to pacify them that we are new joinee & got to respect the system. We were told to shut up & warned to support them or else face the music.

The CEO, Mr Darshan Sethi in his late 60's (served with Britishers; automobile guy) sensed the discomfort & called our entire team to his office. He made us comfortable, offered us water & tea-snacks, asked us to relax. He is amazing listener, asks us, as to what the problem is, 4 men commented that CEO is being unfair in performance rating & he is not transparent.

He asks, 4 set of questions to each one of us, transparently (in front of every one)
Question 1) What is the total stock of cars at warehouse.
Question 2) What is the colour & model mix of cars, we are supposed to sell.
Question 4) What is total price & booking amount of any 4 models.
Question 5) What is stock in transit.

All complainants could not answer any question, looking at each other, making JeRk AsS of themselves; Idiots & a disgrace to our team. One person was counselled & later exited for making unacceptable comments about woman.

Myself & Rohit answered 80% correct by referring to our daily diary-notes & Puneeta answered 90% correct by her mental recall & referring to her daily diary-notes.

Now Mrs A Jose is called, she answers all questions & many other questions like transit damage, total sales figure, orders in pipeline, without referring to anything (any notes). She is 100% correct of her mental recall. The CEO showed us physical register & his computer screen.

Now CEO, Mr Darshan Sethi explained, we have given special increment to this lady because she answers & processes information correct-quicker than his computer. He also told us, whenever you boys are in field & call her, she is always there to help you. We are honouring and recognizing her special contribution. (outside the CEOs office, we three musketeers wished her Happy Merry Christmas & congratulated her on her special abilities & her memory)

Now I realize & my Learning: 

O Dear Woman !! Gratitude to you.
God has created you differently, gifted your brain with special wiring connections. Your recall of information to the minutest detail surpasses the most powerful computer ever designed. No computer can be created to match your unique talent & special abilities, you are smarter than the smartest.... Prabhjot Singh Sood

Bliss to all !! 

Rest In Peace, Gratitude to my first Boss, Mr Darshan Sethi, He breathed his last few years ago at Canada. You sensitized me about Gender Inclusion. 
Dear Puneeta, gratitude to you, without your insights & keen observation we could have, never cracked corporate deals.

When a woman is talking..... How Listening & Encouraging, Woman at Workplace help us make presentations with impact

Straight from from my heart....... This is another true incident, how Gender Inclusion helped us engage client & make better better presentations.

Neha a young dynamic lady is new team associate, she is CKPO (Chief Knowledge Promotion Officer) with our company.

During recent presentation by my partner, Harmeet at leading Indian FMCG, having hotels at Switzerland as well. Neha politely commented that all participants can also wear company branded merchandise (t-shirt) during our training (employee engagement workshop). It seemed liked intrusion, however I was silent observer & sitting diagonally opposite to her. I gave her "OK" thumbs up signal & gestured to hold on for few minutes.

At appropriate time after 5 minutes, we build upon her idea and requested her to present her views (she was happy to present the same & interact with client)

She was appreciated & acknowledged by both of us & client/directors as well. We hope to sign up year long engagement contract with client.

Learning: Women usually start of with a suggestion & phrases like "perhaps", "may be", "you may like to, perhaps may be interested" and when given opportunity to nurture & build upon her idea...... miracles occur.


  1. O Dear Men, exhibit trust in your Women colleagues by encouraging them !! How else you can do that?
  2. When women ask for information in a discussion/brain storming meeting, sometimes we men, tend to think it as interrogation or perceive it as she is questioning our capability, are we correct ?
  3. Perhaps the point being missed is, men often underestimate woman, when they make a point. Sometimes we tend to perceive it intrusion, when they unexpectedly/unplanned  speak something.
  4. Are we men missing on crucial clues, correct of not being a good listener to women?
  5. Are we men correct of expecting women to put their thoughts beforehand always, when we are meeting client for crucial final order meeting ?
God has created woman with special abilities, relational multi-dimensional thinking, they can correlate & comprehend things much superior than men & fastest computer ever build.



O Dear Women&Men ! My reflections, why/what you enjoyed & what you didn't in 28 days training boot camp at Top MNC

These are my honest reflections when I recall, past experience & think about the same: 28 days training boot camp at finest 5 star hotel at Gurgaon, (>decade ago)
  1. We were apprx 45 new joinee including 21 women, seniors believed in Gender Inclusion.
  2. All women used to always say yes to my evening invitation for outing (this was idea of other men). 7 of you used to comfortably squeeze in my small Alto-car (Now I can squeeze only 2 women, my spouse,daughter & their luggage) and go out for shopping. We visited almost all shopping malls at Gurgaon & never felt tired. What is your reflection?

  3. I remember, how women used to feel upset & curse me for not accommodating them & not having a big car. LOL !! I never felt offended & enjoyed the service at my expense, wish my car was running only on love & affection.
  4. The military style training boot camp was too suffocating for me as well, I also used to sometimes feel like a bird in Golden cage.

  5. I vividly remember, how we men used to comfort all women by creating happy moments, by recording your practice demo sessions on your mobile. We used to give only appreciative feedback, speak all good things & give you flowersWhat is your reflection?
  6. I also remember, women never liked me for refusing to watch late evening movie show at malls. I prefer to read at night, Why you made me feel bad about it, what's wrong about it?

  7. We all men used to feel relieved & happy to see women back at Hotel & have buffet dinner together at 10.00 PM. Other men colleagues used to follow us in public transport to ensure women are safe, we cared for you & we were concerned about you & also aware Gurgaon is not safe for women at night. They never ever made be feel guilty or taunted for not carrying men in my car. Have you ever realised this ?
  8. Dear women we were happy to hear your stories and shopping experiences, it was always new learning for us.

  9. Do you know, who used to ensure your favourite flowers were always well arranged and training boot camp room was fresh & clean on next day ?
  10. I feel proud of gender differences & we men are aware of the same. Women are truly amazing and hope you are able to appreciate why , once I was upset & commented at late night 0030 Hrs "God has created night to sleep" & you were upset & scolded me, what wrong did I do?

  11. It was me, who used to wake up first & ensure flowers are in place & training room is cleaned, you never realised, acknowledged or bothered to find this.
  12. I tried to explain gender differences as strength to my life partner, Simardeep Kaur Sood. She has stopped complaining about my habit of sleeping early as per her standard (for me it is normal & common sense to sleep latest by 10 PM). She sleeps late & I wake up early (4-4.30 AM), we take shifts to care for the child. God has created man & woman like that, Simple common sense !!
A) Do you think we need to reflect & re-write, how corporate; engage women at work place. We got to do something ?

B) Do you think corporate culture force woman to become masculine, is this trend dangerous ?

C) Do you think corporate working women , expect men to become feminine (in personal life at home), is this trend correct?

Let us live commonsense and respect the differences as created by The God !!


Sunday, December 7, 2014

Master Secret Revealed: Happiness Key to Happy Relations

O dear Men and Women !!
God has created & wired you differently; 
Learn, appreciate, respect, celebrate & leverage the differences

Why Men Withdraw Emotionally~~ (Author ~Keith Artisan)

Kind acknowledgement to (Author ~Keith Artisan)

Just because a man withdraws does not mean he is withdrawing from you.

Sacred Dreams
Why Men Withdraw Emotionally~~
In a relationship, having your partner withdraw at an emotional level can bring confusion, pain and frustration.


Women who relate to men that do this are often bewildered by why and how this happens.
Speaking as a man, and one who considers himself sensitive and emotionally available, there are particular situations and scenarios that cause me to withdraw. And I imagine that other men, regardless of how in-tune they are with their emotional nature, would respond in similar ways.

Just because a man withdraws does not mean he is withdrawing from you.

First, I just wanted to express that when a man seeks solace or withdraws from a conversation, it probably has nothing to do with the beloved. It has more to do with the emotional intensity and confusion around emotions than with any particular person. It just takes men more time to integrate and understand the watery realm of emotions. And understanding emotions isn’t something that happens for us spontaneously in the midst of a heated discussion.
We need space and time to figure out what is happening, both within our own self and with our beloved.

Men have been discouraged from feeling emotional. We have been mocked, attacked, and belittled when showing emotions. Big boys don’t cry, toughen up, and bite the bullet are all phrases men grow up with. So when we are faced with emotional situations, we are total novices.

The biggest harm that is not recognized or appreciated for the depth of damage that it causes at the emotional level to a man is that men are expected to be tough, to protect, and kill to defend their family. Violence, and the expectation of violence, mandates an absence of emotional sensitivity.

It is a double standard to expect a man to be emotionally available and to have him be able to harm another human being.

Have compassion and understand the kind of conundrum that a man faces when being emotional vulnerable and awakening to deeper sensitivities. It is rare enough to find a man who wants to delve within and unleash his inner passion. It doesn’t mean that he is going to be masterful at it. For men to be comfortable in their own skin and accept their feeling nature takes a growth curve.

A woman has a lifetime of experience navigating the oceanic tides of emotional states.

Women grow up with emotional states and are accepted as sensitive, feeling beings. She is able to observe, feel, recognize and better communicate her feelings than a man. Women are also adept at observing and recognizing the emotional states in other people. And when a woman finds a man who loves her, at some level, she feels a great deal of hope because she has found an emotional match, somebody who understands those hidden tides and influences.
Women will share all their heart and feelings, and not understand how this can impact a man. And when a man doesn’t respond as she needs, the feelings of being hurt or misunderstood arise. How those feelings are expressed matter a great deal.

The best men want an intimate connection with women, and often don’t know how to do that.
Men don’t fall short in the emotional realm because we are emotionally immature. We are emotionally inexperienced. Men face expectations and pressure about emotions that are confusing and contradictory. And when we find a woman who loves us and we love in return, it brings to life a living fire that had been suppressed for a lifetime. Yet fires burn, and the burgeoning sensitivities is akin to a child learning to walk. We fall down, we make blunders, and we are blind as to how to listen and communicate our emotions.

Men experience a learning curve when awakening to their deepest sensitivities.
And just as any beginner, they make mistakes. Sometimes the mistakes are colossal, and sometimes laughable. Men need an emotional example, how to be alive with and operate with emotions in a healthy way. We also need to be accepted as we are, beginners with beautiful intention. To demand for a man to have the mastery over their emotions is an outrageous expectation. For most men, mastery over emotions means suppressing them, hiding feelings behind a mask of stoicism, or just turning off the emotions entirely. It takes time to even identify the subtle emotions, let alone to know how they function and their influence on our own self and those around us.

Any teacher knows that mocking a beginner or putting them down, criticizing them or their approach, will stunt the learning curve, if not completely stopping it.
The beloved woman becomes that guide into the mysterious realms of feeling emotions. When she expresses anger, puts down her man, belittles or mocks him, a man feels attacked. When she demands him to be sensitive, a man feels not good enough.
And when a man faces a woman’s wrath he will respond in the ways he has been taught to feel emotions since early childhood ; with anger. Anger is one of the few emotions accepted in men because it is a necessary emotion to be a soldier-killer. Anger is a natural defensive response for men. And once we become angry with our beloved, there is a host of problems that arise afterwards. Guilt, shame, inadequacy, failure, and fear. These siblings to anger are inevitable when fury shows its face, especially when we know that our loved one has been hurt as a result of our anger.

The words spoken in anger harm the recipient and the speaker.
It takes time for a man to feel comfortable feeling emotions. After all, such a man is challenging the tenets and pressure of an entire society and its deeply ingrained training.

A man’s natural response when hurt or confused is to withdraw. Almost everybody knows about the masculine need to retreat to the cave. And whether this is physical space, or mental space, or even silence, the cave is an essential healing tool for the manly mind. The cave allows integration of the experience, introspection to see what is happening within, and understanding to know how to better respond in the future.

Women set the example and emotional tone that allows their partner to feel safe.
When a man faces a woman who is emotionally stable, it allows him to understand his own emotions. The depth of understanding that the woman has with herself and her own emotional nature will give him the security to express and unveil his own strengths. The woman who is emotionally secure brings a presence of emotional security to the relationship. A well meaning man will appreciate this and do his best, and grow faster and reveal the depths of his spirit with increasing strength and confidence.

Granted, the ideal is that a man can figure out his emotional state and come into his own emotional maturity through his own self-generated willpower. Yet the reality is that teachers, guides and mentors accelerate this process and help a person navigate the confusing and mysterious realms of emotions. There are a great many pitfalls and bewildering mirages when it comes to the shifting sands of sensitivities. And as man learns his emotional state, he is also facing the additional challenges from his friends, family, and world that challenges that awakening at every step.

Gentle understanding and compassionate acceptance brings healing and deepens the relationship. One of the best qualities women have is the ability to nurture.

Nurturing is not aggressive. And with a man, directing aggression at him will generate an aggressive response. He will either fight or run. The flight or fight response is deeply ingrained into every human being. In essence, attacking a man who is opening his heart will trigger a survival level instinct. Once that survival level power fully awakens in relationship, the dynamics in the relationship changes and may never come back to equilibrium.

Nurturing is not forceful, instead it is accepting and allows for a natural growth curve. Be patient.
Just as a tree takes time to come into its fullness and blossom, a man who is learning to embrace his deeper truths will need time to fully ripen into his potential.

Appreciate the men who take the time to stand up against society to discover, feel, live and unleash their sensitive side. It takes a lion’s heart full of courage to face down societal expectations and programmed beliefs. Give him gratitude, honour his spirit, thank him for being available with his sensitivity in ANY way that he is able.
Such a person is one of a kind, a warrior in the truest meaning of the word.
~Keith Artisan
http://www.elephantjournal.com/…/why-men-withdraw-emotiona…/

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

O Women Trainers ! You are the best & finest. My experience of doing workshop for them at India.

My Experience of doing workshop for women trainers at leading educational institute at India

Before starting, I prayed to the God, O God! whatever I speak should add value to women colleagues.

1) Started with, O Women trainers !!. you are the best & finest, you love what you do, you are expert in what you teach.
2) Before starting, I took their detailed resume from institute director's office, it had all details about their qualifications, experience & other stuff

3) I took individual session of approximate 15 min per participant, learning more about, as to what their favorite topics, their strengths, what they enjoy teaching the most & made detailed notes.
4) We played 2 team trust building activities for 3 hours, followed by usual debrief

5) Requested all women to make a list of at least 5 good points about other person, they feel is strength of other person.
6) After this we collated all the good points about individual person (as perceived by other) and shared with them.

7) We also gave them  my observation sheet of strengths about each one of them as I learned from them.
8) We requested them to create their new profile, detailed one & single page to be shared in training with participants.

9) We gave them their original profile as submitted to institute & we had AHA moment, almost all of them commented, they will never use old profile & they were surprised to learn more about their strengths, felt more confident ........WOW !! celebration time.

10) Back-end maneuver: We requested director to personally introduce each woman trainer to participants on Day-1, with their strengths & new profile to be displayed in "know your trainer" display board. He confided that, even he was not aware of their hidden talent.

11) Seems like, I am yet to create happiness, few commented that my session is still missing in substance. They want me to give direct feedback with actionable points.
12) I shared name, credentials & You tube videos of most admired women trainers/public speakers by myself, mostly US/UK women.

13) We did one more activity & outcome was 6 fun ways to recap learnings.
14) They are yet to be delighted, they expect more, asked for my secrets & best practices.

15) At back-end, I requested senior successful women trainer to help them.
16) My final parting thoughts with them, about what I prefer in class room ILT instructor led training ;
  1.  prefer cluster-semi circle or conference style seating arrangement. Usually avoid classroom type seating.
  2. Always form teams & arrange participants in fun way (DOB/height/alphabet)
  3. Ensure gender balance in each team
  4. Reasonable amount of encouragement by clapping & distribute chocolates or appropriate  gift after activity 
  5. Always take lunch & tea with participants to build rapport with them.
  6. Always start next day with fun recap activities
  7. Optional: share my mobile for what's up & invite to connect on FB page
  8. Take feedback from them, what I could have done better
  9. End program with thanks & fold hands as mark of gratitude to all
17) Workshop wrapped up with,
Now all women to speak aloud one by one "XYZ your name" is the best. All others to clap & encourage each other. Kindly do self talk & appreciate yourself daily.

Bliss & happiness to all !! God has created 2 gender for a reason; by learning to leverage penultimate natural wonder of gender diversity; we will strengthen ourselves and make this planet a better place.

This session was done complimentary, Hope I have added value

Habit-1, O Men !! Watch out to prevent being labelled as JeRk AsS by your Lady Love

Habit-1 learning commandment, O men ! thou shall engage, involve, listen your lady love co-passenger while you are driving, because you are not driving a truck/taxi

This is true incident, these events have happened many time (lost count) with people I know and consequences were...strained relations, perhaps broken homes & expensive lessons.

Incident 1: Brand new expensive BMW-SUV being driven (on a hilly terrain) by a handsome man with graceful lady co-passenger overtook/zoomed pass by me in a dangerous way , while I was driving leisurely in hills, from Chandigarh to Shimla with my family.
  1. My spouse shouted at me, drive carefully(why she shouted---Initial Gender Blindness)
  2. I slowed down further and was rather surprised, asked her, hope she is comfortable.
  3. I was also upset & shouted, silly/idiot taxi driver & asked her hope she is enjoying watching beautiful greens, sunrise in hills, music & giggles with child. (why I shouted---Initial Gender Blindness)
  4. She responded & corrected me, you are wrong, he is not a taxi driver. He is having a young lady co-passenger as well.
  5. I responded as, God Bless & let's pray for them, these Delhi boys drive too fast (DL series number plate). In my mind, I prayed to God that my spouse should be less reactive (typical masculine reaction) and relax.... (I was perhaps not correct). My internal thoughts were, how strange & funny of my spouse to expect me to peep inside SUV passing by me. Why can't she understand driving in hills requires highest degree of; focus, alertness, attention on driving rather, anything else compared to driving on plain road.
  6. After 15 minutes, on a curve with parking, this BMW-SUV suddenly stopped, young woman came out & she was vomiting (excessive) & this handsome young man is trying to comfort her in her own way. (We also stopped, offered them more water & prayed for their safety, thereafter they drove slow, trailed us)  (we overheard, I am expert at driving & we will enjoy at Shimla) (woman was crying & must be thinking, JeRk AsS, why can't he understand, he is not a taxi driver & I am not a passenger travelling in Delhi Cab)
  7. My crucial conversion with my spousewomen have superior peripheral vision & perhaps they can see danger beforehand & have better estimation. Perhaps I might miss on something, say falling stone from the hills or rushing animal (lot of monkeys, few Cows/Sheeps enroute to Shimla), keep on correcting me, for whatever you like, I like your voice, you are a bird, "I love you". She hugged me and said, "she meant beware of other rash drivers, when she said drive carefully". We called each other stupid idiot love birds & we happily carried on our journey. 

Thank you God !! you saved me from becoming JeRk AsS :)

    Acknowledgement to Babara Annis, I have learned "Gender Blind Spot" word from Her.


    Learning !! 
    • O men why do you drive your car so fast, why are you stressed, do meditation. 
    • Why do you want to mess up relations with women you love.
    • Why don't you feel and listen, what women are speaking. 
    • Do not attempt to understand, just listen listen listen!!
    Next Blog: Is there a relation between how men drive, maintain their car/bike & their love life. O women ! can you have fair estimation of loyalty of your would be husband by having discerning eye of his driving habits, my experiences !!

    Tuesday, December 2, 2014

    First True Incident, O Rich Men !! Luxury SUV/Car owners, If you try to impress your lady love co-passenger like this you will be called JeRk AsS

    This is true incident, these events have happened many time (lost count) with people I know and consequences were...strained relations, perhaps broken homes & expensive lessons.

    Incident 1: Brand new expensive BMW-SUV being driven (on a hilly terrain) by a handsome man with graceful lady co-passenger overtook/zoomed pass by me in a dangerous way , while I was driving leisurely in hills, from Chandigarh to Shimla with my family.
    1. My spouse shouted at me, drive carefully. (why she shouted---Initial Gender Blindness)
    2. I slowed down further and was rather surprised, asked her, hope she is comfortable.
    3. I was also upset & shouted, silly/idiot taxi driver & asked her hope she is enjoying watching beautiful greens, sunrise in hills, music & giggles with child. (why I shouted---Initial Gender Blindness)
    4. She responded & corrected me, you are wrong, he is not a taxi driver. He is having a young lady co-passenger as well.
    5. I responded as, God Bless & let's pray for them, these Delhi boys drive too fast (DL series number plate). In my mind, I prayed to God that my spouse should be less reactive (typical masculine reaction) and relax.... (I was perhaps not correct). My internal thoughts were, how strange & funny of my spouse to expect me to peep inside SUV passing by me. Why can't she understand driving in hills requires highest degree of; focus, alertness, attention on driving rather, anything else compared to driving on plain road.
    6. After 15 minutes, on a curve with parking, this BMW-SUV suddenly stopped, young woman came out & she was vomiting (excessive) & this handsome young man is trying to comfort her in her own way. (We also stopped, offered them more water & prayed for their safety, thereafter they drove slow, trailed us)  (we overheard, I am expert at driving & we will enjoy at Shimla) (woman was crying & must be thinking, JeRk AsS, why can't he understand, he is not a taxi driver & I am not a passenger travelling in Delhi Cab)
    7. My crucial conversion with my spouse, women have superior peripheral vision & perhaps they can see danger beforehand & have better estimation. Perhaps I might miss on something, say falling stone from the hills or rushing animal (lot of monkeys, few Cows/Sheeps enroute to Shimla), keep on correcting me, for whatever you like, I like your voice, you are a bird, "I love you". She hugged me and said, "she meant beware of other rash drivers, when she said drive carefully". We called each other stupid idiot love birds & we happily carried on our journey. 

    Thank you God !! you saved me from becoming JeRk AsS :)

    Acknowledgement to Babara Annis, I have learned "Gender Blind Spot" word from Her.
    Learning !! 
    • O men why do you drive your car so fast, why are you stressed, do meditation. 
    • Why do you want to mess up relations with women you love.
    • Why don't you feel and listen, what women are speaking. 
    • Do not attempt to understand, just listen listen listen!!
    Next Blog: Is there a relation between how men drive, maintain their car/bike & their love life. O women ! can you have fair estimation of loyalty of your would be husband by having discerning eye of his driving habits, my experiences !!



    Monday, December 1, 2014

    Meditation for women by Awakening Shakti- author Lisa Schrader


    Dancing open the body is an ecstatic way to connect with divinity.

    Most of the meditation practices that have been handed down to us were designed by men for men. In awakening Shakti, we illuminate the feminine face of God. What are the feminine practices that connect us to Spirit?


    For me, movement is key: dancing, walking meditations, ecstatic shaking, or subtle tandava undulations, flowing with the breath.

    Shakti is movement, flow, She Who Cannot Be Contained. If you want to feel the Goddess, consider sweating your prayers. Orgasm you way to God.

    Kind acknowledgement to source, www.AwakeningShakti.com, author-Lisa Schrader